Seriously, I don’t know of any other way to say this, but your attitude really is starting to irk me a lot. I may not know what’s going on with you and the way you are are feeling at the start of the day or whatesoever. But can you please don’t put up with a shitty attitude to wards me? Very the menyakitkan hati you know. And everytime I find ways to make you smile but these days we’re drfiting apart because I’m beginning to see the unfavourable side character of you. You may not notice, but I am observing your every move at conflicts and how you handle them.
Please don’t think that I’m pissed off or angry at you when I’m typing this. ( even though I was initially)I’m just upset because I realised we’re not the same as how we were at the beginning. I’m very upset till sometimes, my emotions can just lead me into thinking that we are nothing more than how we really feel. Maybe you’ll read this, maybe you’ll not. But when you do, please don’t ask me why I’m feeling this way. It’s just how you change from the boy I knew during the holidays and now. Totally different. I also realised that sometimes we want different things, like we don’t share the same perspectives anymore.
BUT I DON’T WANNA GIVE UP ON US. Even when I’m feeling that I’m at the very edge of letting this go. I WON’T. Because deep inside, I know I can’t afford to lose you. My love for you is stronger than my cynicism, and that’s VERY VERY VERY VERY difficult for a boy to make me feel that way. Because I usually don’t bother and tend to give up easily on people like this. BUT SOMEHOW, you must have been one hell of a boy who is able to make me non-philophobic again. I’m just expressing these emotions because it’s my way of letting it out. i love you, and i’m sorry if I ever ever ever make you feel bad about yourself, or burden you in any way.
And guess what? I’m so lucky.
Cause silly, God gave me you.