my philophobic confession.

Why do I feel empty sometimes? Why do I feel isolated from everything that is revolving around me when ever I’m down?!
I NEED HUGS )’: No, I can’t stop crying right now. Gosh, I sound like one silly girl crying because of little words. Why am I so sensitive? I know he doesn’t mean to do that because he’s always oblivious to everything that he does or say to me. ( but he can feel and tell if there’s something wrong me)

That’s why I’m afraid of falling in love. Because i’m scared of getting hurt. But I know getting hurt is part of falling in love. Whose love is so perfect to feel joy and happiness every time? Your fragile heart gets scarred because the one you love the most has managed ot do that. AND ONLY HE CAN HURT YOU, THAT IS WHY YOU FEEL LOVE. You can’t fall in love without getting hurt. That’s the awful truth about love.

Dear Naufal, I would like you to know, you’re the third successful guy who has manage to sweep me off my feet. Every moment when I’m with you, when ever I look at those brown eyes of yours, I keep wondering, are you the one? If you are, where were you when fate was finding for me you?
I keep holding on to the thought that I’m not perfect for you. Because I have so many flaws.

You don’t like girls who do their eyebrows, I did, yet you still love me. You never have girls who call you names and treat bully you around, I did, yet you still love me. You like to hug me instead of kissing me, and to me, that means you miss me because you long for my touch. You are a very patient guy who can tolerate my fucked up behavior. You try your best to make me smile whenever I’m down. You give me advices that can really knock some sense into me. You think of what’s best for me, and you care for my sisters too. You make sure I respect my elders.You are the first boy who I had requested on air.
You keep sending me home without fail, honestly, even Zul, who was once considered as my number 1, wouldn’t bother to send me home straight to my house. I can never think of lust when I’m with you, only love, really.

I want you so badly that sometimes, that I even think that you wouldn’t want me as much as I want you.

I’m so confounded right now. fuck ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


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